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Forums10
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Apr 27th, 2024
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 13,879 Likes: 15
Sidelock
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OP
Sidelock
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 13,879 Likes: 15 |
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
"Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."
The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86 |
Plus he doesn't have genes from an ape... Hmmmm, We all do. You might have come from an ape but I didn't....
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 13,154 Likes: 1152
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 13,154 Likes: 1152 |
Plus he doesn't have genes from an ape... Hmmmm, We all do. You might have come from an ape but I didn't.... Neither did I, or anyone else on this planet that descended from Adam and Eve, which, coincidentally, would be all of us. Funny how some seem to enjoy the claim of having apes as their forefathers. Makes you wonder why. SRH
May God bless America and those who defend her.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,862
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,862 |
Your faith-based beliefs are guaranteed by the Constitution. It's when you try to impose them on others against their will that it becomes a problem.
Last edited by Ken61; 05/23/15 10:53 PM.
I prefer wood to plastic, leather to nylon, waxed cotton to Gore-Tex, and split bamboo to graphite.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86 |
Mine is not based on faith just common sense...
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 9,350
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 9,350 |
Chuck, that one fixed me up for the day!
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,438
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 7,438 |
I forwarded this one to the Pastor of my church but I doubt he'll use it publicly!!  Jim
The 2nd Amendment IS an unalienable right.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,862
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 2,862 |
Mine is not based on faith just common sense... Yeah, The Religious Statists say the same thing...
I prefer wood to plastic, leather to nylon, waxed cotton to Gore-Tex, and split bamboo to graphite.
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 175
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 175 |
Sorry my grammar isn't up to some standards. If all he can find fault in my post is my grammer than so be it. I WILL NOT support hillary, right now Rubio. I will support Feingold for our Senator. johnson is an idiot. PLEASE note the grammar, it is intended.
BEWARE OF DOGMA
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Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 906 Likes: 30
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 906 Likes: 30 |
Mine is not based on faith just common sense... HJ, When this subject comes up, my buddy always tells me "I'm not a tadpole from a shit hole". Cussin on Sunday for accuracy only. My wife and I were blessed to teach the 4th grade girls Sunday school class, God's word today. What a treat. Enjoy!
Last edited by ithaca1; 05/24/15 06:26 PM.
Bill Johnson
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