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3 members (StevenD, KY Jon, LGF),
393
guests, and
2
robots. |
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Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
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Forums10
Topics38,480
Posts545,228
Members14,410
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Most Online1,335
Apr 27th, 2024
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 234
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 234 |
Just read the whole bunch, lots of laughs.
My nostrils are still tingling from launching whiskey at my laptop after reading teeny350's bit. Eyes are still watering too.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86 |
Just didn't finish the joke Mr. Sniffle'bean....faxt iz eYe wuz wait'n on yOu'unz.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86 |
Sometimes ya have to over look them yAnkees...
Years ago a fellow went to check out this famous squirrel dog that was for sale...
When he arrived to look at the dog the owner said I'll be right back with him....A short time later he came around the side of the house rolling a wheel barrow with the dog inside of it. He questioned the owner as to why the dog was in the wheel barrow ? Any ways the owner explained that the dog had lost his legs in a hunting accident years back. Seems he had a taken this 'gent from Mpls, Mn hunting with one of those Darne bumper jack shotguns and when the nimrod was loading his bumper jack shotgun it went off taking out all 4 of his prized squirrel dogs legs. He cracked the nimrod over the head with his Darne and sent him packing back north (sadly we're left with Mr. Sniffle'bean). He went on to explain that this squirrel dog had been such a great hunting companion that he couldn't stand to leave him home so one day he got the idea of putting him in a wheel barrow and off they went squirrel hunting. Didn't take long to figure out the dog could still tree squirrels out of a wheel barrow. The gentleman was growing quite old and because he was still toting shot in his arse from the nimrods shooting accident he decided to sell the dog to someone that could hunt him. A price was agreed upon and the wheel barrow was thrown in..... A few days later found the new owner loading his dog in the wheel barrow for a day of squirrel hunting. A short time after dark his wife started to worry when they didn't show up but knew her husband had been lost in the woods before (she thought it genetic) finally she fell asleep on the couch.... Next morning she was awaken by a sound out side she jumped and ran to the door...."Honey boo your clothes are in tatters and you've lost your prize Darne shootz'gun....Honey boo boo where you been all night ?" Ted'ward Jr. tried to explain that everything was going just fine squirrel hunting, we almost had our limit... Until the dog struck a deer.
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 33
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 33 |
After a long night of coon huntin' a couple a good ole Georgia boys were sittin' in their rocking chairs on the front porch of their hunting cabin passing the moonshine jug back and forth, accompanied by an exhausted blue tick hound at their feet.
An hour or two deep into the "jug" with little or no conversation between the ole boys, their hound wakes up, cocks his leg and proceeds to give himself a good lick.
Being somewhat easily amused, one Georgia boy turns to the other and remarks, " Damn, I wish I could do that".
His huntin' buddy turns to him with an inebriated look and replies, " that dog would bite you" !
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 8,158 Likes: 114
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 8,158 Likes: 114 |
Old Sam, the deer poacher, and Warden Cobb had a running battle in the Northwoods of Minnesota for years- from Oct. through Nov., Sam slipped out undetected and took any deer he saw with his .44-40 Winchester lever action-- Finally the Warden retired, and told his rookie replacement about staking out Sam's cabin in the early AM--and how to follow him undetected.
First AM in Oct. that year, the rookie is at his post- light appears from inside the cabin, Old Sam, steps out on the deck boards, unzips his fly, and relieves himself on the ground. Then he looks up, and shouts: "Hey Warden, kinda cold out there- I'm making coffee and bacon with flapjacks, come on in."
This scene plays out over time, until Old Sam is in the hospital with a terminal illness from which he will die. The rookie goes to visit, and asks him-"Sam, all those mornings we had breakfast together in your cabin, how did you know I was outside?" Easy,replied Sam: "Two things I do every morning from Oct. through Nov.; (1) Get up and piss, and (2) yell "Hey Warden"! Worked every time, didn't it?"
"The field is the touchstone of the man"..
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,308 Likes: 44
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,308 Likes: 44 |
re: The Ted and jOe shOw
Well, someone is asleep at the switch.
city slicker: Farmer, you ain't too far from a fOOl now are ye?
farmer: Just a barbwire fence b'tween us.
_____________________________
The Arkansas Traveler WDET 101.9 Detroit, Michigan. (rip, Larry)
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 9,749 Likes: 744
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 9,749 Likes: 744 |
Just didn't finish the joke Mr. Sniffle'bean....faxt iz eYe wuz wait'n on yOu'unz. Not finishing things is a bit of a constant in your world, no? Let's see, toilet training, 8th grade, gun safety, posting jokes, etc. The joke was better before you finished, it by the way. That is NOT saying it was a good joke. It wasn't. Best, Ted
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86 |
Teddy bOy mad because jOe took a poo poo on his key board ? 
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,136 Likes: 37
Sidelock
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OP
Sidelock
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,136 Likes: 37 |
Dang I wish the OP could moderate his/her own threads!
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86
Sidelock
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Sidelock
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 15,456 Likes: 86 |
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