from the local paper: Article

Coop de grace: growing old gracefully

An increasing number of senior citizens are calling Forest Park home. So we interviewed one of our longtime residents, to see how he's coping with the challenges of old age.

Coop, judging from your muzzle, you're getting on in years. Just how old are you?

(Speaking beagle through an interpreter) "I'm 12 — so if you do the math — I just turned 84."

Does this mean you're slowing down a bit?

"Well, I'm not chasing Frisbees, if that's what you mean. On a normal day, I lay on my chair and try to squeeze in a 12-hour nap."

So, I take it you're retired. What did you do for a living?

"After I dropped out of obedience school, I didn't have many career options. So I went into home security. My job was to howl hysterically at every dog that walked past the house and chase squirrels out of the backyard."

Did you ever catch one?

"No. In fact, now I'm having trouble getting up and down those stairs. I'm pretty sure they're not in compliance with the ADA [Aching Dog Act]."

I guess that leaves you plenty of time to visit with your grandpups?

"Actually, I never married. After this one trip to the vet, the ladies no longer seemed interested. I told them we could adopt but I couldn't find any takers."

Did you do anything financially to prepare for retirement?

"Sure, I joined AARF, when I was 9."

Did this give you discounts on your dog food?

"We just call it food — no, but this crunchy stuff they've been feeding me all these years. It hurts. I belong on a soft food diet — I need something out of a can."

Speaking of AARF, I understand you've also retired from barking.

"Yeah, my throat was killing me. Besides, all my barking buddies, Bruno and the rest — they're gone."

Do you still enjoy walks?

"Hey, I still have a nose. But my owners rarely walk me. I wonder sometimes who the real senior citizens are in this house."

Have you been to the dog park lately?

"I told you, I like smelling — not being sniffed by strangers."

Besides arthritis, are you having any other, um, age-related problems?

"No, I make regular trips to the backyard. If you see any stains — well, let's just say I'm not the one spilling wine on the carpet. I did have one accident, though. Last spring, this thunderstorm literally scared the crap out of me."

So you're content to live out your golden years in Forest Park?

"Yes, but I would prefer we downsize to a ground-level condo. Also, I could use a walk-in shower. I get scared every time they lift me into the tub for a bath."

Enjoy,

Pete

This is great Pete! Thank you

Now that's funny

Good post Pete.

Pete, I love it.
Thanks for taking the time to share it.

Pete that was a good one.
I can't remember if I had read this or was told by someone. Between the ages of puberty and 50 enjoy what you like, whether fishing, hunting, golf, etc., at 50 then you work until the end.
It never was discussed how you got the money to do the things you wanted to, but I liked that kind of thinking.
I loved to go fly fishing for mostly trout, but just loved fly fishing, when I retired at 55 my wife said now you can fish all the time, I did but not like I did when I was longer. The same with hunting. Now at 69, 70 next month, severe arthritis in left knee and some problems with right shoulder. I still shoot clay birds, more now than before, but not the fly fishing because of the knee.

Maybe if Oslama was in when I was younger there might have been such a program, with him who knows.

I often wonder what my 9 yr old stter is actually thinking.

old colonel: I know what your setter is thinking. "What's wrong with the old coot?"

I know this because my 10 year old Boykin makes it very clear almost every day.

R.

My guess is they see us as omnipotent in dispensing amenities and discipline and want to please us with an unbroken loyalty to the end. None of my Labs---not one---disappointed me.