Hi guys,

I apologise for using this forum but most people read this area. I wanted to update people on my battle with cancer.

On Wednesday, whilst outside my BMW garage, I had what appears to be a seizure or mild stroke. I was rushed by ambulance to hospital for tests. Everything looked OK so they couldn't tell. However alarm bells rang and my oncologist wanted me to have a brain CT scan right away, I refused at the time because I had frankly had enough. On talking with Marie we saw the sense in just having to know if the cancer had spread to my brain. This was confirmed today at 11am after a CT scan that I do indeed have a single tumour about 2.5CM in my head.

I have agreed to radiotherapy of a 5 day treatment starting next week because as you all know I will do anything to stay alive for my family. The bad news is that I could have 6 weeks or less to live. Maybe a few months if it goes well but we seriously have to plan for this now. I've expressed my desire to die in my wifes arms and I strangely feel at peace with this now. Although we have the unbearable task of telling my 10 year old over this weekend to somehow prepare for daddy slipping away.

I feel terrible telling you guys this but just had to. You are very imporant to me.

Thank you to the 3 people so far that have offered and purchased some of my guns. This will be important for my family. The Purdey, Grant 2 and John Blanch are all going to wonderful people that are going to treasure these shotguns as I would.

I'll keep everyone posts. I do want to get to Holts and hope to meet a few people there.

If I go quiet for more than a week then PA24 or Marie will post I am sure.

All the best,
Regards,
Tony

Tony, so very many of your cyber friends around the world are tightly "holding hands" with you, Marie and your children all the way. And Christ himself is holding all of you tightest of all. God bless and comfort you and your family.

Tony, my prayers along with I'm sure everyone here. As said before stranger things have happened.

Tony,
I am so, so sorry to hear this. We have been praying for you and your family for a miracle and will continue to do so.

Phil

Sent you an email, Tony.

I don’t post on this site much, but I visit daily. One of the first things I look for are your post. I really enjoy seeing the guns that you have restored.

Don’t give up. We will keep you in our prayers.

I admire you for your ability to share. I'll never forget your contribution here. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Craig

Best wishes, and God bless you and your family.

So sorry to hear this, Tony, may God be with you and your family,
Mike

Thank you for sharing Tony, my heart truly goes out to you and your family. I'm glad you've found good homes for a few of your beautiful restorations.
Thank you again for sharing.
Steve

This is truly a sad situation on multiple fronts:
It heartbreaking I'm sure for your wife to know she'll probably lose you at far too young an age.
It's a shame for someone with your talent to not be able to continue in a field you truly love.
It's a loss to all of us who for the most part are cyber friends but have really enjoyed communicating with you thru the years.
You are regularly in my and my wife's prayers and we still believe and hope for a miracle.
jim

You are symbol of Strength in face of adversity. As said before, your courage and how you've carried on knowing your fate is very inspiring. Lesser men would have given up or languished in self pity. Anyone that meets you at Holt's will be in the company of a true giant amoungst us.

Truly you are our Man of the Year.

Tony, you'll be in my prayers for a speedy and complete recovery. I wish you only the best and many thanks for all your help. Your one of the grand old gents on this forum!!

Godspeed to you.

All the best!

Greg

Tony, all our prayers and best wishes. Words cannot convey the feelings.

Best, Rand

Tony,
Prayers for you and your family. Hang in there.
Gary

Damn, Tony. You and your family are important to us as well and in our hearts, prayers and on our minds. Gil

I am so sorry.

One day at a time works best for me when I am between a rock and a hard place.

I pray for you. I hope it doesn't hurt you any as I am a rascal and it may count against you.

All the Best,

Mike

Tony - you and your lovely family have never left my heart and my prayers. I'm knotted up inside, can't even think.

Clif W said it best - Your strength in continuing to pursue life where others would languish in self-pity shows what you're made of. You're a genuine inspiration.

Words fail miserably, I'm just going to keep beaming it over the Atlantic.

Whole Lotta Love - Marc

Dear Tony all my problems this week have gone out of the window once I read this, I am heartbroken for you and your family, all that has happened to you happened to my dad just over one year ago, even when he knew he had the tumours x4 he battled on for some time and you need to fight fight fight !! I am wiping the tears here as although I have not met you I think we would have got on well through our interest in barrel finishing etc,if I can help in any way finishing barrels etc let me know, I send you my best wishes, I want you better and I want to meet you then we can compare our barrel finishing! you take good care I send our love and best wishes to your family.

Hi everyone, thank you so much. It really means a lot. I will fight of course I will.

I promised out family an outing this Sunday to the Shooting Show here in Newark near Nottingham and we still intend to go. I'm not going to let this bloody thing stop us.

I'm meeting Salopian there and if there is anyone else going I would love to meet you also. We'll be there from 9am to 1pm is my guess.

Thanks everyone for such nice comments. I feel humbled frankly.

Cheers
T

Tony,
There is nothing I can say to make it better, just know that my thoughts are with you, and willing your better health each day.

Roy

Tony:

You're a good man. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

I rarely post. My prayers are with you. As I get older, I appreciate more and more the how men, despite our disposition as providers, protectors and stalwarts, also need a listening ear and gentle touch as crises and the inevitable march to meet our Maker, colours our outlook. May the Good Lord Bless you and your family.

Tony, have always admired your work and will continue to do so. I pray that you have a speedy and complete recovery. You are a fighter and will overcome this.

Tony, you already have won the most important fight, living your life in a way that's earned unqualified affection and respect.

Jay Gramith

"You are symbol of Strength in face of adversity. As said before, your courage and how you've carried on knowing your fate is very inspiring."

My feelings as well Tony. I could not say it any better.
I can only hope to be as brave when faced with a similar situation.

Best of luck,

Rudy / AKA - tunes

I don't post here a lot, but love seeing the work you share with us.
There's little I could say or do, but I wish you and your family strength and courage.
RG

Tony you have added so much to this board in the last two years. Your struggles and achievements are an inspiration to many of us here. You have all of our prayers and support. I have spent several hours reading your blog post and enjoying your restoration and in some case total rebirth of guns you have saved. Along the way I saw how you became a part of the project yourself. In some way it has reborn you as ocupational therapy gives a man a new lease on life. Fight your fight, live for your lovely family as you are doing and accept my support and prayers. Jon

Tony, Thank you.

May You, your family, friends as well all that you have touched and inspired know peace and tranquility.

With Respect and Admiration,
Lee

We are pulling for you! Radiation can do much--Derwin Carter (my friend) had that treatment for a brain tumor, and had been given 9 months to live. Thirteen years later we laid him to rest, and he had worked as an electrician for eight of those years. DON'T give up...Steve

Wow Tony, I don't know what to say. Unfortunately, we don't chose our battles, we just take them on, one at a time. I am glad to hear you are getting out this Sunday with the family. Do it often, the more time you can share with family, the better. I am so afraid, that I would pass and my Daughter would never know what and who I really am. So make sure of that. There are times we are actually blessed, to be able to show them who we are, when we are given this time table. We are more than just the person who goes to and from work everyday. Don't forget your parents either. You will always be their little boy.

Wish I could meet you Tony. Strangely,even though we've never met in person, you have touched and made a difference in my life as I'm sure you have in the lives of others here. Your toughness, courage and joy for life can't be hidden by something as simple as an internet. Thank you for being here at this place in cyberspace. It is a true pleasure and you enrich us all.

Aloha,

Bob

I'm so sorry to heat that.

Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help you or your family.

OWD

Get well Tony! One never knows what life has in store for them. If this aweful stuff continues, at the very least I pray it comes peacefully. Stay strong.

I am so very sorry to hear of this Tony and I just can't find the words.
May God Bless your heart.
Gil

I'm praying for a miracle and in awe of your courage and devotion to your family. You have left a legacy for the rest of us to honor.

God bless you Tony. You and your family are in our prayers. Hang in there and keep up the fight!

I agree with Clif, et. al., Tony deserves 'Our Man of the Year' award. What a fine gentleman, gunmaker and human being Tony Treadwell is.

Tony,

Words escape me and perhaps many on this forum. You are an inspiration for me and I think many here.

May you and yours walk in beauty and live in harmony with the universe.

With admiration,
Mark

Tony,
May God continue to gird you with the strength to face the days ahead with clarity and courage. Your internet friends pray and petition for you and your family. Our hearts are with you and your family during this time and the days ahead.
NCTarheel

Tony you are an inspiration to all of us.

I cannot say it better than Buzz.
"What a fine gentleman, gunmaker and human being Tony Treadwell is."

Well said.

And what better tribute to him than to try to live to his high standard of dedication to family, craft and country.

I am speechless at the outrageousness of the universe. I am an old man with chronic lymphatic leukemia and have lived to be 75 and I ask, Where is the Justice? I hope for your recovery, friend. Chops

God bless you and your family. Please let us know if there is anything we can do.
CHAZ


Would anyone be able to PM me mailing information for Tony?

It's never too late, Chops, or the game over. We can love and help, do things at any stage of life---differently, yes, but with no less positive effect. We're not envious of younger men with stormy seas ahead. Grasping for what's beyond our reach is a loser's game. It's no fun having our bodies decline but the real evil of life is not a seeming unfairness of our fate. It's the soul's indifference. You're a cheerful, generous contributer here, alive and burning to the end, hoping as I do that we have Tony's courage when it's time to go to bed. Regards, King

One thing about the universe, chops, is there is no universal justice. Anywhere in it. It is what it is. Life is what we make of it, and Ballistix made a pretty good thing of it.

Tony;

As you can see we all love you like a brother, which you are to us. We pray to God if it is in his plan for your life to spare you. We have been praying for you for months and will continue to do so.

Kindest Regards and God's blessings we ask for you and your family.

BV

Tony, your strength, determination and courage is an inspiration to all of us. We wish you and your family comfort.

Peace.

Very saddened to hear this news Tony and all the very best this week on starting the radiotherapy. I sincerely hope it goes as well as it can. I hope you managed a good day out @ Newark with the family - precious times. Here's to saying hello later next month at Holts.

Craig.

Hopeing for the best results from any treatment you may receive. Your fight/attitude is an inspiration....

Tony, not being religious all I can say is that you are a very brave and inspirational person and I respect you for that. Good luck with the treatment my friend. I'm sure that in years to come your young son will know what a great dad you are. Lagopus.....

King, I am ready to go at any moment. The injustice is that younger folk die and I am still standing. Chops

Tony,

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

cDog

Yeah, I know what you mean, Chops. You and I have seen the picture show and we're where the show was when we came in! Regards, King

I really don't know what you say. You are such lovely and caring people. I went to the hospice today with Marie. It was really nice, but I noticed how young I was compared to everyone else. I am quietely resolved over it because I knew it would be like that.

The good thing is they are there as a second line of defence, If I can't die at home, it will be here. They are setting up a plan where Marie can have reactive drugs in the fridge for me so that if anything changes quickly my dear wife can inject me if needed.

I go for a CT scan and mask to be made today. They expect total brain Radio to start Wed for 5 days. They are going to nuke the whole brain to tackle anything they can't see. ANYTHING I will take to stay alive.

My plans:
I've sold 3 guns. They are going out this week. I thank the two people on these forums for their bids and I hope the guns will deliver on their promise.

I am going to finish my book. I have at least another 40-70 pages in there and I start tonight. Maybe if it's good enough someone might publish it or at the very least I can do some sort of online publishing with E-commerce build in so that people can pay a nominal paypal or other fee to download and have a copy. All proceed to the kids fund of course.

Lastly, I'm tidying up that 10 bore ML a bit and fiddling about with guns. I will try and get to Holts but lets see.

Lastly, Lastly, I am a fighter. We are trying to put it behind and look forward. I'm totally fedup with being upset about this. We had a very hard conversation with Will my 10 year old last night who asked if I would be alive in September to see him at his new school. I cannot explain to you all here how hard it is to have that conversation. I had to be honest..I hope to see the summer son, but if it doesnt go well we don't know about Easter. But know one thing I will be here for you and we will all hold hands if it comes sooner.

Thank you guys your support is reward for me being part of such an amazing virtual bunch of people.

T

Hi Tony and thanks for the update.

That must have been such a difficult conversation to have with your son, for your wife too. It always surprises me how resilient the young can be about these issues in the long term.

I was thinking of going to Holts next month so if I can be helpful do let me know; happy to drive you there and back or whatever you wish.

Praying hard for you.

Tim

Hi Tony,

I'll be watching for your e-book. Sounds like a great idea to me. Hope it's jam packed with details about your way to tackle a fine gun.

Craig

Tony's message reminded me of a story my son told me yesterday.

His daughter and son-in-law were discussing serious issues involving their jobs at dinner; listening their 2 1/2 year old son Max, adopted at nine months from South Korea.

Discussion ended, Lindsay and Josh went on with their meal.

"What's the matter," Max said, after a couple minutes had passed.

"What do you mean, Max?"

"Why did you stop talking?" he said.

Talking is key to everything, especially when living on the edge.

KB, you are right. I am going through this as well. Though, my "best used date" is later. My daughter was 15 when I was diagnosed. You try to shield them, but it doesn't really work as it just opens more questions that roll around in their heads in the middle of the night. Kids know allot more than given credit for. Many kids will want to shield their feelings from their loved ones as well. But it can eat them up inside. They need lots of hand holding, sitting on your lap, hugs and kisses and know that you really love them and are not wanting to leave them. They need to see your tears and be held to hear your heart beating n your chest. Spouses even go through this possibly harder. My wife was so hurt that I would leave her now. The spinning of emotions is greater than can be imagined.

Obviously, NO living human being escapes this world without some sadness and grief, including royalty and even President's.

Thank-you for the update Tony,very very touching post.

Here's to you ,
Chris

Tony,
Your latest post has especially touched a note with me. Although I haven't met you or conversed much on your threads here, I am very much moved by your illness. Your situation comes at a time when we are dealing with my mother's age related illnesses and her frailty. Over two weeks ago, doctors braced us for the worse and discharged my mother from the hospital telling us nothing further could be done. Her outlook was measured in days. Yesterday, she walked on her own power again. I wish you a similar surprize.

Best wishes
Chuck

Hello Tony;

Keep a positive attitude if you can and keep fighting. I can understand what you are going through because I have cancer also. It's a rare and aggressive form of Leukemia called Multiple Myeloma / Plasma Cell Leukemia. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago when my son was 14 and I have had 2 bone marrow transfers since then. I am currently in a drug trial for a new chemo therapy that is showing some promising signs.

I look at it that I have had 4 bonus years to live and I am taking advantage of it. I have been making a yearly hunting trip to Wyoming to hunt antelope and loving every minute of it. Last summer my son and I took a 2 week road trip (4,500 miles) to see the sights of the American West. We had a wonderful time.

It helps me to focus on the future and look forward to events in my life and not dwell on the past. BTW, I got married last June to a wonderful woman (the second go round for both of us) who has been my rock going through this. I have a wonderful support group of friends in the gun world that have also helped me greatly.

I have always been a fan of "black humor" and I make jokes about my cancer and the inevitable end. It is off putting to some people, but it helps me deal with it. I have been known to announce my presence by saying "dead man walking" when entering a room.

We are here for you Tony. I would be happy to chat with you when ever you feel the need.

Hi Steve, I really appreciate the post, believe me. I will fight. You just get hit harder with the bat each time. I'll get up. It's really ALL about my children. We went clay shooting yesterday and my wife and Will are having lessons (which I've now upped to weekly because I want to see more and more and squeeze more and more in!). It was amazing he shot so well with a .410 and I know they are carrying it on when I go whenever that is!

I completely concur with the thoughts on humour although sometimes it gets hard to do. People say "how do you do it" but to me everyone would do the same. Fight it in the face and sure get upset privately sometimes but show you are there, ready for the next swing at you and fight back with fists drawn.

Thank you everyone. This week a good friend of mine stepped up to be my driver! How lovlely, she's an old friend, has four older kids now at school and is taking me to radiotherapy for 5 days and Price Street Friday to see my buddies there. The human heart kicking in again to help an old friend. I'm the one that should be humbled for making me put my friends through this crap and it leaves me great comfort to know they are there for Marie.

T
x

Tony,

Keep fighting. We are still praying for you each and every day!

This thread makes me wonder just how many here are in this battle. For me and I am sure for many as well. You have learned to accept your personal battle. But, the ones you love, makes me so sad. For me it is now 8yrs. of 7 surgeries, 93 radiations and 2 clinical trials, but I am STILL here. I am not cured, but living with cancer. I hope they can find that therapy, pill or procedure to get you allot more time.

Black humor....At the local restaurant where the guys gather for lunch, it was brought up how the government may treat cancer patients if they are over 75 or so and if we have social medicine they just may not be able to treat you. Of course as a patient, I piped up and said," that is why I chose to get my cancer early!" The group went quiet and then all started laughing and all mentioned that I had a good sense of humor about it. Just what else you going to say?

Tony, You have a "PM" from us. We have all the"Smoke-Lamps" burning for YOU. Keep your "Chisles" sharp. Trevallion.

God Bless you and your family Tony.

Dustin

Tony,

Last weekend my daughter told her children (12,13,17) that there Dad will probably not live till his birthday which is in September. He has a similar disease as yours. Rest assured I am still praying daily for all involved.

Kindest regards,
Ken

Tony,

Great admiration for your strength in facing your illness head on! I'll keep praying for you and you just keep fighting.

God love you, Tony.

I've been watching this thread unfold, trying to find something to say, and coming up short before I started typing. I'm going through my dad reaching the end of his road and looking deeply at issues of mortality time and again.

I suppose most apposite is what the wise man said, that it doesn't matter whether you live or die (because you will) but what does matter is how you live while here. You've enriched many lives in many ways, not the least of which has been the example of courage you've shown us. Regardless of how this turns out, you've made the most of it and enriched us all.

I am grateful beyond words.

Thanks again.

Thank you Dave. Today I trained our dog, glass beaded the WC Parsons barrels I'm going to brown and getting on with some restoration. It was just what the doctor ordered. I'm staying very close to my wife now for obvious reasons.

A friend has kindly offered to take me to my next 5 days of radiotherapy to my head. Whilst my wife works and looks after the young kids.

I'm also hoping to be taken to Price Street to pickup a tailpipe and see some friends.

Ken I am sorry to hear your news. Cameron thank you very much.

Cheers
T