James,
You have my deepest sympathy. Where you are, now, I have been before. And, I will be there, again, by my own choice.

For what it is worth, my last dog had a favorite spot in the open spaces area across the street, a small, spring fed pond, which, we could not keep her out of. She would wade up to her elbows, and wag her tail, and fish, although if she ever caught one I never saw it. She chased geese and ducks, and was a powerful swimmer, the best Setter I’ve ever seen at that task. She had time for every kid and mom who ever came to see her, and everyone knew her and what she was doing in the pond. Just being a dog, a happy dog. Gypsy was a truly happy dog.

When I brought her ashes home from the vet, I waded out into the pond and put her remains in the spot she spent 13 happy years enjoying.

A few times a summer, I get on my bike, and ride to the park. I watch the kids on the playground, and then ride to the pond and spend a few minutes remembering my old friend and how much she brought to my life, and 7 years after I got her how she “adopted” my new bride, and two years after that, my son. They went to the park nearly every day, and Gypsy went with them.

I miss her. I miss all my dogs.

Best,
Ted