John I'll address part of the problem you mentioned like staying on track with the subject line...

It's hard for a bunch of old senile old farts to do most of the time...

They get to thinking about their foe hummud n tin they had when they were a boy or that old Remington 514...see you got me doing it.

Or how their gran pappy used to whip they azzez....lucky for the rest of us they don't reminisce about their long forgotten sex lives.