Had a dream last night I died and went to Hell. After Ole Beez-l-bub pitchforked me into the Lake-O-Fire I landed on some Protestant sword and some feller come up to me and started quoting Cromwell at me and screamin, Youve be Cromwelled! (hockey reference Kronwalled). I got unstuck from the sword and staggered away and spotted a bar. I thought, oh, great, theres bars in Hell so I went in and got sucker punched in the head by a big, dumb southern lad who said, How you like that, Yankee boy?! I said I didnt and went up to the bar and sat down and was immediately strapped down by my arms and legs. Three chaps sat down next to me and started babbling on and on about the CIA, Jackie O, and Vietnam. I screamed at the bartender to bring me a drink and she put a glass of clear liquid with ice in it with a straw. Im like cool, ice vodka in Hell and took a big swig and spit it out! Blah! This is ice water! says I. Just when I think it cant get any worse some bloke named Ted comes in and starts dropping quarters in the jukebox playing weird death metal music.
I need to straighten up and fly right. Oh, wait. Too late.
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A hairy-legged soul lost out in sin.
https://youtu.be/O43WPFfyb-w
