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We are just about finished calving out, about 28 cows to go as of today. #367's calf died, neighbor, Rob Jensen had an orphan calf. Rob brought the calf over, and we put her and the calf in a pen. #367 went OVER 1 gate, plumb THROUGH another one, smashed Robs truck door on the way. Ned roped 367 off a 4 wheeler, 367 got it tipped over and drug Ned and the 4 wheeler across the lot yard for about 50 yards. Got the front loader and chased 367 back into the big pasture. Rob took the calf back to his place. What Govt. agency do I apply to for the recovery check? FEMA? USDA? Commerce? Ned says EPA cuz he stinked so much from getting drug. Had a Lefever 10 in the pickup, almost shot both of em. (Ned and 367) That makes it on topic...seeya

You definatly need a bailout!!!

Are you pregnant with 8 kids in the oven and 6 more at home? Or do you just feel that way? Do you have a green card?

Can't you break that ground, switch to row crops, and get subsidies from the FEDs?

Farm the government!


OWD

You don't seem to understand how this bailout process works Last Dollar. If you have been working hard and paying your mortgage, car payments, and charge accounts on time, you do not qualify. Also, since the cow became pregnant while Bush was in office, this is part of his legacy. The presence of a gas guzzling pick-up exempt from CAFE standards, along with a 4 wheeler and frontloader contributed to Global Warming. If any fuel spilled from the tipped 4 wheeler, the EPA would likely fine you and shut you down for threatening an endangered manure maggot. Then that Lefever 10 is compelling some poor urban gangbanger to steal it, saw it off, and shoot a drug dealing competitor from a rival gang. Any stray lead pellets that don't hit bystanders will contaminate whole city blocks. You, therefore, are the cause of societies' ills. But there is hope. Soon the Messiah Obama and his disciples will save us from the kind of threat you pose by redistributing most of your wealth to the folks they feel deserve it more than you. Those folks are a diverse group comprised of people who couldn't be bothered with working, those who spent money they didn't have, and corporate titans who raped their companies by exporting all the good American manufacturing jobs (former taxpayers) to China and Mexico, and using the savings to reward themselves with fat salaries and bonuses. By the way, if Ned was not a person of color before he was dragged through the manure, you may be running a segregated operation. New A. G. Eric Holder would say you are part of a nation of cowards for not confronting your racism. Hope this helps, Keith

Keith's explanation makes a lot of sense, however, while you are waiting for the hammer to fall you might be able to get you poor orphaned calf on food stamps and aid to dependant children and your cow signed up for extended unemployment insurance.

You cats are pikers; let's cut to the chase. Beef all them critters and plant opium poppies. Short lines of supply are always better--a nation of geezers cries out for pain management!

367's tale reminds me the self-destructive/destructive tendencies of livestock are one of the main reasons I left the ranch as soon as I was old enough. 50 years later I can still recall the smell of cow shit and cow and people blood and Sonoma County adobe mud, and feel that cold February rain comin' down endlessly. If I'd stayed I'd be a vegetarian by now, probably converted to New Age beliefs, too. And growing wine instead of opium.... Like stock ranching, "it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it." Just not me (I do OK on the consumer end, tho).

Chuck, tell Ned he is in good shape. Since he didn't bail out before he got into trouble he is in for a bail out because he got into trouble. The orphaned calf, however is out of luck because it is too young to vote. Peter

If you had that on DVD, of the event described, I would like to buy two copies. If you did not get it on DVD is there any chance for a reenactment? Best not to tell Ned about the reenactment so he can show real surprise and terror. On second thought I will take three copies. LOL

Last Dollar,
That reminds me of a story Dad used to tell. He had a heifer that was always getting out. Easter morning he went to the barn to do chores and that heifer was loose. As Dad opened the door the calf jumped over him on the way out. Dad went and got the .22 and long story short he missed church because he was butchering.