Keith, sometimes smartass can get you in serious trouble with the other half. One I have to tell on myself: After the wife and I saw "Indecent Proposal", where Robert Redford offers married couple Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore $1 million to spend a night with Demi, the wife asks me whether I'd take a million bucks and let someone have sex with her. The ONLY correct answer, of course, is something on the order of: "Dear, to me you're priceless!"
However, my smartass immediately kicked into overdrive. I said: "Dear, that was a million for Demi Moore. For you, I'd take $50,000!" Pretty cold in the doghouse for the next couple weeks.