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"Limericks"

I assume that everyone is familiar with the term, and knows what a limerick actually is, if not, do a Google search and you will get a full explanation. Well, I have always been amazed at the mind stimulation that can be realized from a simple 5 line verse.

Below is a favorite of mine that got me interested in trying my luck at writing some.


"There once was a lad at Trinity"
"Who derived the square root of infinity"
"He suffered such fidgets"
"From dealing with digits"
"He changed from math to divinity"


Now, here is my first try.


I once had a gal in my class
Who experienced some trouble to pass
She dispensed with tradition
And stopped paying tuition
But still charged her father the cash


Now, for my latest!


There is a guy called Obama
And to some he’s caused quite a trauma
He appears quite sane
Despite his middle name… [Hussein]
But he’s proving he’s really a Bummer


I'm through for now, so try you hand at it and see if it stimulates "your" mind.


binko

Your limerick falls flat. The last line does not fit the formula
sorry the format is:
A
A
B
B
A you are missing the final A
It should have said something like:
he shoulda been swallowed by his mamma

Consider the topic and apply a little "Ebonics", [the official new language], to it, and it rhymes perfectly!

binko

See if you like this one any better?

A man can be born in Kenya
But not with a Presidential agenda
We know we commit libel
As told in the Bible
So his term should be cut before year end a

binko

Being of Irish bent, I know about 50 "naughty" ones, my favorite being: "There once was a man name of Sweeney, who spilled gin all over his weinie- not wanted to seem uncouth, he splashed on Vermouth, and thus made the perfect Martini"- but I crafted this one for Sister Mary Margaret Frigidaire- at St. Pat's-- "There once was a man from St. Louie whose wife thought we was a bit screwy, for every morning for luck, he'd walk his pet ducks, which he had named- Huey, Lowie and Dewey"-- she even laughed, for a Nun (who gets none) that ain't too bad--RWTF

I like those, RWTF, LOL, it gives one the chance to do a little "word-play", but you seem to excel in that category in most of your posts anyway!

binko

Thankee kindly there Sir Binko. Yup, have the Irish outlook I do, and inventin' limericks and ad slogans ain't made me rich, but shared a few laughs- must have been all that Stan Freeberg and Mel Brooks in my "salad years" I'd guess- The late Johnny Cash made a nice chunk of change sellin' the rights to his song "Ring Of Fire" to the folks who make preparation-H, I even gave it a shot: "Use Preparation-H and kiss those hemmorhoids good-bye'

There once was a couple named Kelly,
who had to live bely-to-belly
for once, in their haste
they used library paste
instead of petroleum jelly.

Once a gay man in Khartoum
took a hooker upstairs to his room.
They argued all night
over who had the right
to do what, with which, and to whom.

I'm trying to think up a dandy
while I'm eating a big box of candy
couldn't think of a thing
to make my poem ring
so I called my old buddy Randy.


have pity on my soul,

tim

tHERE ONCE WAS A FARMER NAMED fRITZ- wHO PLANTED A FIELD FULL OF TITS- hE WAITED FOR fALL, TO HARVEST 'EM ALL, AND CHOPPED THEM ALL SLOWLY TO BITS- There once was a Plumber name Lee- Who was plumbing a gal by the sea- She said "Oh stop plumbing, for I hear someone coming"- Said he, still plumbing, "Tis Me" There once was a nympho named Alice- Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus- They found her vagina in North Carolina, And bits of her titties near Dallas-- There once was a Pirate named Gates- Who did the Mambo while on roller skates- But he fell on his cutlass, which left him quite nutless, And perfectly worthless on dates-- There once was a nympho named Ransom- Who had secuded a young man in a hansom- she rolled on the floor, and begged him for more, but his name was Simpson- Not Sampson-- There once was a hermit named Abe-Who kept a dead hooker in his cave-He had to admit, that she smelled just like shit- But think of the money he'd saved- There once was a man from Boston- Who bought himself a new Austin- There was room for his ass- and a gallon of gas-But his balls hung out and he lost 'em-- Oh Yeah!!