First I want to thank Dave Weber for providing this rich forum. It has attracted some of the finest people I can imagine. They participate and help each other like good friends should. They offer praise and sometimes criticism but I always feel with a good spirit. You have offered me friendship and a haven for my troubled mind of the last three years. It has kept me sane. You have helped me, befriended me, hung out with me at events and on odd occasions when I traveled. I now have friends across the country that I know I can call on should I need them. I have been fortunate to hunt and shoot with members here from both coasts who have become close and valued friends. Those of you who know members Jent Mitchell and Dick Baum should know they have badgered me to come out and shoot with them at events coming up to get me out of the house and try to start my life again.

I have not been reading your posts for the last half a dozen weeks or so and posted for the first time yesterday. I just did not care. My guns have been in the safe feeling lonely for that time and some weeks before that and I just did not care.

Sixty one years ago and little girl was born in a displaced persons camp in Salzburg, Austria being conceived somewhere between Siberia and Austria. She lived there five years with the horrors she saw as a result of the war and what it did to her people. She sailed across an ocean to Canada and five years later she crossed the border to the US and finally NYC and became a citizen at 16 years old. She found me on a bench in the hall outside Calculus 1 at the City College of New York. I kissed her for the first time 44 years ago and instantly fell deeply in love with her. We married 4 years later. My fortieth anniversary would have been the last day of this month. I tell you this because my heart is empty searching for new meaning in life. Three weeks ago she lost her three year battle with cancer and at her request I traveled with my sons and daughters in law and an Angel that befriended me(another long story for for the future) on the long 10 hour flight and laid her to rest in Israel.

In our next life I expect her to travel across the ocean again looking for me. I hope she finds me.

Milt

Milt, I offer my most sincere condolences at this time when you grieve so deeply. I know it's easy for me to say but trust in your faith to sustain you through your sense of emptyness. Frank

"We have grief because we have love".

Hard blow, Mitt. You'll get through this because you've been a loving companion from the time you met as youngsters at the school bench. We tend to look back at these times and ask, Could I have done more? You answered that question with the way you lived together. It's not a question for you now. I am sorry for your loss. Regards, King

Very sorry for your great loss. Thank you for the tender story. It was not easy to write, I'm sure.
May God comfort you through this sad time.

Milt, I'm so sorry to hear this news. At the CT show we shared our mutual stories of finding true love at CUNY, and I'm deeply saddened that your love has passed away.

Dear Lord embrace this fine lady in your love, and help our friend through this tragic time.

Brent

Milt,

So sorry for your loss. Sounds like a very full, fruitful, life together. I cannot and do not want to imagine the pain.

Now, it's time to go pull a trigger.

Take care, Milton

Welcome back, Milt. You're among friends here.

Can't say it better than the above. Know you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Milt, that was an absolutely beautiful piece of writing. Thank you for sharing it and I am so very sorry for your loss. Gil Russell

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

Milt, that was a very heart rendering story...... by writing and sharing it with us, your healing has begun. Like those travels you described in your missive, it too will be a long journey. Opening your safe will be akin to opening a gateway to that journey. I wish you calm seas and full sails always....... May God Bless.

Steve Lawson

DEar Milt/Builder
Very sorry for you...I can only hope you rise above & beyond your loss...words fail...but I wish you all the best in the rest of your life
god bless
Franc Otte

Dear Milt - I am both saddened and inspired by the depth of your grief and longing for your wife. Saddened for the obvious reason of our shared humanity, inspired because such deep grief comes from deep and abiding love.

There is absolutely nothing I can offer you. I expect you will miss you wife everyday of your life, but I hope that along with this loss you will also be comforted by the fabulous memories of the love and life you formed with this lady.

My best wishes,

Stephen Meyers

Dear Milt: I grieve along with you. My wife & I are approaching our 47th. year together. I can't imagine life without her, but the Lord of us all will sustain you and us all in our time of loss with the realization that we will all be rejoined in a much better place. John Donne put it well: "Everyman's (Everywoman's) death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind". SHALOM

Best Wishes, George

Mr. Milt, I'm so sorry for your loss and pray that God will be with you thru your griefing. To have a good wife is more than a blessing and so few men are so blessed. I'm glad you chose to share your grief with us, you are truly among friends and we hope to see you back soon. May God be with you. Ken

Builder,

In this small and close community of ours you'll find more than a few others who have endured the same loss. There simply is no greater pain. Should you need to discuss this with me feel free to use the email address in my profile. I should hope you'll recieve similar offers from many others.

"I'll be waiting on the banks of River Jordan
by the water, sitting in the sand.
When I hear you call my name
I'll rise and take your hand
and lead you through this land."

Bless you Builder

Cary Nelson

PS: I've met the same Angel. A truely a wonderous experience.

Milt,

My prayers are with you.

Milt, Prayers sent. Bobby

Milt,
My heartfelt condolences.
Best,
Ted

Our prayer and love go out to your entire family. Forty years is a long time and your have been blessed by children and a rich life. Stay strong for your family and hold your memories dear. God Bless.

My deepest condolences for such a tragic loss to you and your family...

Milt,
I am very sorry for your loss. My God be with you!

Milt, Very sorry for your loss. From your touching story, I just know if the tables were turned and the Lord called you first, you would want her to be happy. Surely she's looking down and wishing the same for you. I'm relatively new to this site and already feel the same gratitude you have for the other members. This life isn't always easy but it sure helps to have friends. God bless and sustain you. Keith

I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your loved one. Bruce

What a wonderful eulogy. My deepest sympathy for you and your family. She will live in your heart forever, shalom.

Milt, very sorry for your loss. Keep her in your heart while you keep hunting and shooting with your friends. That's what she'd want you to do.

Milt, I can only guess at the pain that you're feeling now. My wife has been battling inflammatory breast cancer for nearly four years. Right now we can only trust in God and in her doctors skill and pray that she beats the odds and wins the battle. I know that you miss your wife terribly, but take comfort in the fact that she is with God now.
Steve
BTW early on in Gails battle, we came to the realization that God uses us all as his angels. Any one of us at any time may have that honor. We have met a number of such angels during the last four years, sometimes with small miracles some with large, but all their help is appreciated and treasured.

Milt, my heart goes out to you, losing the love of your life. But you were lucky to have had that love, and can cherish it.

Rob

Dear Milt, Larry Brown beat me to it. After reading your touching story the first thing
that came to my mind was that she would have wanted you to get back to your guns
and hunting with your friends.

My deepest sympathy.

Juan Carlos

Dear Milt, don't worry, you will see her again. I can tell you that for a fact!It maybe sorrowful, but think of all the relativres that have passed on that she is now meeting and becoming aquainted again with.

Milt -

She'd be moved to read how beautifully you've expressed your story and feelings. You were both in the embrace of good fortune to have each other for those many years. Keep that in the balance with the weight of your loss. Follow the impulse that brought you to tell us.

Jay

Hi Builder,
I am very saddened to learn of your loss, I was hoping for a miricle for you. Think of it maybe your wife was the miricle as that was a beautiful testament to her life and her effect on your life. My prayers to you and your family.
Jeff G.

Builder:

I've been thinking about your post for a couple of days, trying to find the right words. I'm sorry but words fail me. I can sympathize but not empathize, I can't imagine what you're going through. Your faith will sustain you over time. Know that my heart and the hearts of all of those here go out to you. May God bless you and keep you close in your time of grief. Your post touched me deeply and is a wonderful tribute to your wife.

Sincerest condolences,

Dan

Builder; I just celebrated my 20th wedding anniversry and your post has touched me deeply. All of us have and will go though very trying times. If you have the time I greatly suggest reading The Grief Recovery Handbook by author John W. James and Russell Friedman. It helped me when my mother dyed and also helped my father. I thought I was encouraging my father when I really did not understand what he was feeling. We did this through our church and there is a support system in place that you could call. Please; If you are feeling low,This is a wonderful blessing. I have a copy that I am more than happy to mail to you if interested. My email is tom@tophatchimneysweepsinc.com
I hope I can have such a wonderful relationship as you have had;
Tom Will

I was going to let this thread die a natural death but I feel the need to thank the board members who have written and called. Over a hundred people came to pay their respects to Regina and me and I discovered that there is really nothing people can actually say that has any real meaning although they all try and pretty much say the same thing. Of course, their presence and conern is what matters. I have found that Regina had touched the lives of many more people than I realized and I have more good friends than I thought. These good and wise friends have made this time easier. As a board member said God makes people Angels even if it is for a short time or a small deed. I think he is right and I know it is beyond our comprehension or at least beyond mine.

The replies, wisdom and outpouring of love on this thread from members here have moved me deeply and have helped me cope during this difficult month.

You are right that we have been blessed with a rich and full life filled with love and accomplishment. I really do not have the right to complain since few are blessed as we were. Naturally, I wish she could have spent more time enjoying the fruits of her efforts and wisdom. I can't tell you how much I wish she were still with me to enjoy it. G-d works in ways we don't understand and I think I will learn to eventually accept it.

Bless you all,
Milt

Milt - I missed this thread when you started it, and did not know. I am so sorry for your loss and the struggle Regina had to endure. Blessings to you and yours my Friend. Hope to see you at the Southern.

Ed Blake

What an amazing and heartfelt story. Peace.