Ok. Here's an old one, adapted to the new realia.
A grandfather finally convinced his hipster grandson to try out hunting. He wanted the kid to have a real good time, so he decides to take him on a guided moose hunt. The guide takes them into the wilderness, tells them he'll place them on stands, detour and push the moose onto them.
- All right - says the youngster.
- The moose will come out of there, and you shoot it in the heart.
- All right.
- Make sure you're shooting at the moose, and not any other animal or a person
- All right
- Don't go anywhere off the place where I put you.
- All right.
- And be careful with the locals. They sometimes come up to you and try to tell them it's their moose, they'd wounded it before, and must have the meat. Don't let them take your moose away.
- All right.
The guide leaves, and the hipster stays put. Sure enough, a couple of hours later a moose comes out of the wood, and the hipster shoots it dead.
Immediately after that, a man dressed like a local calls out to him:
- It's my moose! - cries the hipster.
- Hey, listen..
- I'm not gonna listen, it's my moose!
- But...
- Shut up! That moose is mine! I'm keeping it!
- What the...
- I tell you it's mine! Get off before I shoot you too!
- All right! OK! You win! It's your moose. This moose is yours. Just let me get the saddle off it...
